Posts by Pete Zahut

49

JW Wife not listening

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey guys, looking for some advice with what to do with my jw wife that is simply ignoring my wishes/demands.

first a little back story, we have been married for 6 years and have 3 children together.

she is a jw, and i am not (nor do i have any religious beliefs).

Pete Zahut

1st Peter 3 :1 In the same way, you wives, be in subjection to your husbands,+ so that if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their wives,+ 2 because of having been eyewitnesses of your chaste conduct+ together with deep respect.

I'm not big on the whole JW "headship" thing but as a Jehovah's Witness she is going from door to door claiming to believe that the bible is the word of god and is claiming to follow his laws and is recommending her way of life to others.

How can she make that claim if she is disregarding what the bible says and what her religion is continually admonishing women to do? What would the householder say if they knew that the woman standing at their doorstep had 3 small children and had a husband who for good reason, specifically asked her not to spend so much time in this activity until the children were older? What would they think of a woman who thinks she has her life together enough so as to be able to preach to others, yet continually disrespects her husbands wishes as he tries to lead his family down the road of life?

I would sit her down and read the scripture above to her from her own Bible and ask her the questions I've posed above and tell her once more what your wishes are.

I have a feeling she may need a reason to get out of the house and to be around other people and Pioneering is a way to do that and get accolades from her JW peers at the same time. You don't want to make her feel trapped and enslaved by her marriage to you and her duties to the children but someone has to take care of them when they are this small. I can't see how she could pioneer and be driving around in a car all day with small children, nor do I think it would be good to leave them in the care of someone else and have them do her job, just so she can get out of the house.

Find out if being bored or stuck at home is at the root of this problem. Maybe you could arrange things so that one day a week she is freed up do whatever she wants, whether it's going in the door to door work or going out to lunch with a friend.

Let her know that this isn't a power play on your part or about you wanting your way or wanting to boss her around. It's more about the two of you wanting to come to an agreement about how to manage your family and about her following through with what you've both agreed on.

38

How can angels be sexually attracted to women?

by Island Man in

the nephilim account in genesis is utterly ridiculous when you consider that angels are sex-less beings and would therefore lack sex-drive and romantic attraction.

think of how difficult it is for humans with a sex drive to be sexually attracted to animals.

now take away that sex drive and it becomes literally impossible.

Pete Zahut

How can Angels be sexually attracted to Women?

Hey Island Man....there you go thinking again.

If it's possible for Satan to turn himself into a talking snake, then anything is possible.

( you'd think he'd have turned himself into a cute little kitten if he wanted to trick Eve but that wouldn't have been as dramatic for the story since we'd have more trouble disliking Satan if he was a fluffy kitten rather than a slithery snake.)

8

The power of cognitive dissonance

by joe134cd in

i've been watching this reality tv program called "catfish".

it deals with people who have had a rough deal with internet dating e.g fake profile, money scams etc.

any way there was one episode that really stuck out to me that made me realized the power of cognitive dissonance in dealing with jws.

Pete Zahut

Yep, we sometimes project our own good intentions, hopes and dreams onto others and our brain fills the missing pieces with what we want to see or believe.

71

Breaking News, London: Van Ploughs into Pedestrians

by Simon in

3 male passengers then get out and start stabbing / shooting people according to early reports.. but it could have been anyone for any reason, who knows, possibly jehovahs witnesses or amish.. maybe we'll never know the reason but i'm sure there will be people praying for those involved and hashtags.. thus solving the problem once and for all.. just "life in a big city" according to the muslim mayor of london, sadiq khan..

Pete Zahut

I'm not sure where I stand on this issue, other than to say, I want it to stop.

I saw a bumper sticker on a car that said, "Not All Muslims are Terrorists but all Terrorists are Muslim"

I've noticed that when there's an event like this and a person claiming to be of the Muslim faith is involved, he is called a "Terrorist" but when there's a school shooting or something similar, and the person isn't Muslim, his specific religion is mentioned and he is simply branded as mentally ill, deranged or it had something to do with gang violence.

Since millions of Muslims would never do such a thing and are sometimes victims of these violent acts themselves, how do we know whether it's the religion that is to blame for these events rather than a mentally ill or deranged individual who happens to be part of that religion and carried out violent events out on his own or as part of a small group of like minded inherently violent individuals who are also Muslim?

26

Last of the big conventions?

by NikL in

jw
friends

had lunch with some friends during today's waste of time convention.

they spoke of the rumor floating around that the jws will move away from these big regional conventions and have them at assembly halls and tie them in to kingdom halls.. they seemed to believe it was a pretty reliable source.. i think it would be too good to be true but who knows?.

anyone else heard this rumor?.

Pete Zahut

If they don't have District Conventions (or whatever they're called now), imagine how difficult it will be for single JW's to meet anyone they don't already know. Meeting new people (ie girls) at the convention was the biggest draw for us back in the day.

If this is true, I suppose the only thing left for single JW's to do would be to cruise the (unapproved) online JW dating sites I've heard about. I imagine there'd be plenty of talks and eventually a woeful "Remember Dinah" video where they'd use the most feeble of connect the dot reasonings and skewed logic to somehow tie the account of Dinah in with the dangers of meeting "fringe" JW's online.

16

My husband reinstated our son

by Finally Left in

dear friends, we were so touched by your warm welcome and all of your comments to my ballroom dancing post.

thank you so much for your kindness.. i have more to tell you, but i wanted to share this with you.

we have a son that has been disfellowshipped for 18 years for smoking.

Pete Zahut

No matter how old we get, on some level we still like to know that our parents approve of us. How nice for your Son to know that even though you have maintained a relationship with him , you and your husband no longer view him through the old JW filters that have cause you all so much unnecessary suffering, worry and loss of time together.

There are family members on my wife's side who haven't met their grandchildren because of an erroneous and unfair decision that was made to disfellowship one of her cousins. Several of the men involved in that decision are no longer JW's themselves yet more than a decade later, their decision still stands as far as her JW family is concerned.

Your family can look forward to making up for lost time and can be thankful that your Son can move forward without having to feel he is a disappointment to anyone. So glad for you all that this didn't drag on any longer than it did.

11

How do I get you to Visit my house

by I have question in

okay simply put i am not of your faith however my faith allows me to learn and study other people's beliefs and faith's.

now i believe at least from what i have seen that you people are humble and respectful, when interacting with me.

and that watchtower book thing u hand out has actually helped me in the past.... taught me that resentment only hurts me and not the person i resented, that was really needed at the time.

Pete Zahut

And that watchtower book thing u hand out has actually helped me in the past.... Taught me that resentment only hurts me and not the person I resented

Remember, a lot of the things they might show you, is common knowledge that can be found anywhere. The only difference is that by bringing it to your door, they've made it easy for you to assume they are somehow extraordinarily enlightened and they'll want you to believe this is because they are the only true religion. They believe that soon, anyone who doesn't listen to their message and become a Jehovah's Witness, will be killed by God. They've been preaching that the world is going to end and have been scaring people into joining them for over 100 years.

JW's as individuals are typically nice and well meaning people and come across as respectful and harmless. If they were monsters, people would run from them rather than being taken in by their well rehearsed presentations.The trouble is, they make it appear that they are at your door out of concern for you. They may be concerned for you and others but knocking on people's doors is more about them saving their own skins and not being killed by God for not doing so. They are required to do this and they are required to report how much time they spend in this activity and keep records of who they talk to (such as yourself). Once you get involved with them, you will be expected to buy into their program 100% and build your life around it. If you don't accept what they are teaching or do accept but later change your mind, they'll show their real colors and they aint pretty.

A lot of us here have had our lives devastated by having become involved with Jehovah's Witnesses. It's sort of like the adage in that old song, Hotel California.... where they say, "You can check out anytime you like but you can never leave" (without serious consequences that is).

If you mention that you visited this site, there'll be stern warnings about listening to anyone who was a former JW. Hopefully this will be a red flag for you. They don't want you to investigate them without being in control of what you are finding out about them.

27

Day 1: The Night of Anger, Tears, and Pain

by Saethydd in

my freedom came with a heavy cost.

i couldn't stand the dishonesty so when my sister went out of town on a trip i told my parents that i no longer wanted to be a jw.

when my sister got back and i told her she was so angry, said she really wanted to slap me, then she ran off sobbing, a few minutes later she deposited every gift i ever gave her in front of my door.. my entire family has turned against me.

Pete Zahut

a few minutes later she deposited every gift I ever gave her in front of my door.

All part of the emotionalism and manipulative childish drama they've come to believe is expected in the JW roles they've chosen to play.

Good grief...a person should be able to choose their own religion without having their family fall to pieces. Your actions are helping to toughen them up because the probability is quite high that sooner or later their JW bubble will eventually be burst by something else.

Remember, their tears are not about concern for you (even though they think they are) Their tears are for sorrow for themselves and having to get used to change and the fear change induces in most people. They are crying because you are not playing along with the fantasy they've built their life around and have come to emotionally depend upon. The change you have made has caused them take a look at themselves differently and they don't like what they're seeing.

Do not engage in explanations, bargaining, arguments or long discussions with them. To do so would put you in the position of having to defend yourself rather than being in a position of having taken control of your life. Sometimes it's best to only communicate briefly in writing until the emotions die down. You've said what you've said and let them adjust to the new you if they choose to. You can't waste your life being part of this emotional blackmail. It's been taking place long enough.

Be smart, make goals and keep your nose pointed in the positive direction you want to go in life. Learn from your mistakes rather than let them define who you are. A lot of the moral and other values you learned as a JW can be a benefit if you are balanced about them. Don't toss them all out but make healthy and safe choices on a hourly and daily basis and prove to them all that it can be done.

38

Talk to my Dad about beards.

by LovingLifeNow in

jw
friends

so i spoke to my elder dad the other day, and he asked if i still am sporting a beard.

i said yes, then i said, "i thought the society said its ok to have a neat trimmed beard now?

" he said "no, no, no..if you read the article , it says in countries where it is accepted" so my response was "ummm, its pretty accepted here in america"..which he says "it reflects your spirituality" "if another wittness saw you, they would know you are weak"...i was like, "ok, i don't get it, and i follow christ/god, not men..." then he said in his hall" if a brother came in with a beard , he would not have privelages" then i just gave up, and tried to change the subject..ugggggggggg if these people would just listen to themselves , they would see the sillyness of there teachings...

Pete Zahut

2+2=5 12 hours ago
If your dad doesn't have a beard, you've got two mums.

Maybe so but then again, you haven't met my Mum. (If she'd shave once in awhile, stop wearing those awful black dresses and quit smoking those cheap cigars, she'd be a nice lookin' woman.)

6

My last talk

by Normalfulla in

so i was recalling my last talk , it was something to do with finding jehovah's treasures or something anyhow in my prep i decided to google "real life treasure maps " and i came across the copper scroll which was found with the dead sea scrolls https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/copper_scroll and i described the real life treasure map etc and of course likened it to the bible as if it were a treasure map to life (duh) anyway afterwards an elder present at my talk said "i wouldn't believe everything u read on the internet" .

i was totally pissed off by his comments as though if it didn't come from a wt publication it can't be trusted as true , this was before i woke up but i was so incensed by his comments it messed with me that he would doubt my research and then ..... i woke up but that wasn't what did it just an.event along the way.